Monday, February 6, 2012

I don't like spiders

Here's a fact about me. I have an insane, irrational, impossibly persistant fear of spiders - a phobia called 'Arachnophobia'. I see a spider, or even a web, and I lose it completely. Spiders make me have nightmares. If I know there is one in the house, I have trouble going to sleep, sure it is scuttling it's way into my bedroom to get me, so I lay awake in a panic in the dark because now I can't even see the spider to defend run away screaming from it.

Basically when I see an eight legged death machine, I turn into a blubbering, screaming mess. Really. I think it's the legs that does it, but I can't be sure.

A few weeks back, there was an epic few nights of spotting a, later identified, White Tail spider in my bathroom, but paralysed by fear I could not even bring myself to kill The Spider of Death, so it escaped after a few nights, and decided to leave me alone. In my fear, I wrote my parents notes in the middle of the night about encountering this creature of unholy grusomeness. Please excuse my appalling, fear driven hand writing.

For example:

I did manage to take a photo of The Spider of Death while standing on the opposite side of the bathroom, hyperventilating, with the zoom so it could be identified, but even looking at the picture makes me feel uneasy and traumatized, and I certainly won't inflict that on anyone else either.

So why am I talking about spiders today on the blog?

Two reasons:

Arachnophobia is a GENUINE problem. Please do not mock those of us that go from rational, sane people into hysterically crying blobs in the corner of the room upon sight of a spider.

Today, the worst happened. I went to lunch with my coworkers, Victoria, Erin and Lauren, and we get back to Victoria’s car after sushi. I sat in the front passenger seat, put my bag down, did up my seat belt……….. and felt something crawling on my arm.

I look down.

There was a big spider crawling up my inner arm.

At this point I start to scream like I’m being MURDERED (Victoria described it as ‘blood curdling’). I couldn't stop screaming, and I didn't know what to do. The creature of my nightmares was ON ME.

Finally realising I can't just sit there screaming, I switched tactics to screaming AND hysterically flicked the spider towards the back seat where Lauren and Erin are sitting (as in my terrified state the capacity to open the door beside me and flick it out is beyond me).

Meanwhile, the guys in the next car are all concerned at me screaming and look over alarmed. Victoria just says, ‘SPIDER!’ and they begin to laugh.

I undid my seat belt and flung myself out of the car in hysterics as Erin begins her rampage to kill the spider from the back seat. She squishes it successfully as I have a break down in the car park.

It took a little while to coax me back into the car. Then I cried, back at the office. I actually had to take shock remedy to stop myself crying and trembling. I was trembling for about two hours straight.

So the moral of the story kids?

We should just look at something pretty to take my mind off it. These are the cupcakes myself and my friends were eating at a party over the weekend. MMMM Sugar.

Love WTP x

Notes on other spider encounters:
- I have actually been bitten by a White Tail Spider before while bush walking, and the venom made my skin start to rot. You should see the scar on my back. Ain't pretty.
- My brother once tried to kill a Huntsman for me. They do not like being sprayed with deodorant as an alternative to bug spray. They get filthy angry and run behind furniture after waving their horrific legs at you.


Michelle's Style File said...

Cupcakes sounds like the perfect answer!


Barn House Antiques said...

White Tails are really bad.

The cupcakes look great. I now feel like a cupcake.

lauren said...

I am so grateful that you did not post a photo of a spider. I match your sentiments on spiders all the way, they send me into the most irrational and out of body shit fits one has ever seen.

About 10 years ago I was driving in my newly acquired Ford Explorer when I spotted a spider almost above me. I summoned bravery (which was rare in the face of a spider) and tried to kill it only to knock it on the floor where it disappeared. In a total panic I pulled over on the side of the road, got out of the vehicle and walked over a mile home. My husband now, who was my boyfriend at the time was at our house when I arrived in a complete terror or tears. I never got in that car again. Chad went and got it and I sold it as fast as possible. THAT'S how scared of spiders I am. Horrid.

Teresa said...

I just want to hug you!

I dislike spiders. I don't fear them but I definitely think they need to stay in their environment and not mine.

I think I'm actually more scared of ants. When I was walking in a park with my nan years ago (I think I was about 5) we stopped and I suddenly noticed that I was covered in ants. I must've been standing on an ants nest. My nan brushed them all off me but to this day I can't stand ants being anywhere near me.

When they'd invade our house back in QLD Greg was always charged with getting rid of them while I hid away in the bedroom.


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